It’s been a long long time

Jdric is 7y 8mth, Mvric is 5y 9mth and Fric is already 3yo. Now  i have a whole new range of things to worry. Especially with Jdric academics result. One hand is telling me to let go. Let him learn at his own pace.. let him be a child. On the other hand is asking me to push. Push as hard as he can mange. Never underestimate a child learning ability.

i mean common. we are not from a rich family where we can just leave things as it is. cant catch up? nvmd la. learn slowly la. one day u will know how. but what is the one day come late. very late. many year later? then he will nvr catch up with the rest of the things. we are sending him to a normal ordinary gov school where everybody suppose to learn at the same speed. if u dun catch up , there are many many things ahead of you, u will never able to touch…. eg: scholarship? unless we have few mil per child and he can do watever he wants. learn watever he wants. and go anywhere he wants. then.. i will have to agree… learn at ur own pace. drop out of gov school? nvmd.. we go private or international or even homeschool. private tutor. no problemo.

so with this i decided to change myself into a tiger mom. into a pushy mom. into a mom that pressure him as hard as he could take it. i decided that i want him to be the above average student. not a 100% perfect student.. but average at least. i am sorry son, u are the first born. everything will start with you and if nothing goes wrong, which i hope non, ur brother will also face the same pressure from mama. this is the BEST i can gv to u now. to stretch ur limit.

School Driver

Today send J off with a driver we hired. Looking at him getting into the car.. he was reluctant but he didnt resist. Weeping quietly behind.. i had to hold back mine.

I show him my wound and told him i need to rest at home coz i am in pain. I need to recover then will be able to send him again. He understand.. i am proud of him but i hv a heavy heart.

Sick after sickeness

Afyer chicken pox J is down with high fever. 40c and come back every 4hrly.

Finally he is better today and i send him to school. All the teachers were staring at me as tho i had a dead body in the car! Confinement mth so wat?

Anyway he was happy when i fetch him fr school. He told me abt his craft. Normally he wont initiate wat he did but for a reason i think he really lile crafting tt why he story me wat he did. Paper cake 🙂

Cfm day 7

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Thinking back my second cfm with Mboy. He isnt this lucky. Each time he cry he will be attended by CL. I hardly carry him or change him.

Where as J and F without CL, each time cry mama is the one pamper and carry them. So heartache tat i had abandon Mboy is such a way.. T_T

Chicken Pox days

Back fr kindy, J had some little red dots. I was thinking cld be some sensertive skin or allergy. But as nite came..they grew into little tiny pimple..i quickly call up principle to confirm. Jackpot, he had chicken pox and i am 36wks. Quickly brought him to the doc and send him back mlk. I immediately sanitise every single thing n toys..bedsheet and carseats.. all i could think off.

Tough days for me… he misses us here. After fon calls he wld go bonkers. Refuse to eat refuse to bathe. Everyday he beg grandpa or gugu to send him back. He claim he is better and no more chicken pox. Grandpa had to entertain him with activities. 2 long weeks. Luckily he understand that he had chix pox and therefore had to stay away.

And just before J return, M start to grow poxs!! I was in my 38wks!! *argh* how frustrating. M had whole body of pox and it was more severe than J. His mouth lips and i think even eyes coz it was swollen..i google and ask paed and gynae abt the severity and all confirm me tt i would hv pass he immunity to my NB. I pray to the Lord that it is true. After calculate 2wk fr M chix pox wld clear is on 5th May. Could the baby be waittig for the safe date?

God had his plans and i will trust in Him.
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Incontrollable

Ever since he started kindy. i cannot be in control anymore. i dunno what he had learn. i dunno what he did. i dunno his “ins and outs” anymore. which makes me loose control…

but today he told me he ate porridge and who eat the fastest and he dirty his pants abit. so at least everyday he had been telling me.. “i eat bread” is true. at least today is porridge. 

he also came to me and ask “may i go to the toilet” meaning that YES he did went to the toilet in school. i was so worried that he control his urine until back home coz when i keep asking him did he go to the school toilet he say NO. 

and also when he saw my lips he ask me  “why ur lips is dry? Go drink water please” so i know that teacher had been taking good care of them asking them to drink water. 🙂 i am also wondering why is his water bottle always so full until one day i heard him say “can u refill my bottle” then i know he learn tat from school 🙂

Simple Conversation

Just a simple conversation i knew i had made the right choice always letting them running wild in the garden and playing arnd the neighbourhood.
He was reading his phonics book on the way back from school. It was the word “dig” & “pit”
So i explain to him pit is like the hole he dig at my garden. 
He adds on…

I use my glove and dig. Then i put in the plant and do like that like that. (he’s patting so i told him bury and patting the ground)
then i put water and my plant grow. is pink flowers. (he repeat everything again but this time.. ) is yellow flowers. is very tall. 

🙂

Kindy had started

Day 1 : Very kesian he was quite stunt upon reaching. He didn’t react, didnt cry but he was stunt. Class start at 8.30am but we send him there 7.45am so he could be earlier and warm up. We were hoping that we could accompany him until he was abit more familiar. But principle insist we leave immediately. 😦 Peep him from afar and he wasn’t playing.. just standing there looking at others. Orientation for 2 days and therefore class ends at 11am. We just hang around and waste time. Mom was with us… sat at McD and could see M was also bored without his big bro. didnt even wan to play with the slides.

Image(stand and watch and no playing)

When i was picking him up.. he changed. He had vomited… over stress?  But he was teacher said he was  acting like a big boy in class. He even told the boy next to him who was sleeping “wake up, teacher say write ur ABC”.. after class he help all other children to put up the chairs on the table. 🙂 my always helpful boy..

Image(changed into tshirt coz he vomited and dirty his uniform)

Day 2 : Mom and i fetch him to school. He cried again. He told me i threw him in school alone. He is scared. However teacher said he was more comfortable in the classroom… i really wonder why. Today he did his first art & craft.

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(Teacher Ang, i think is his class teacher)

Day 3 : School end 12pm today. Still orientation week. Still crying and vomited in my car! Upon reaching the junction he had started to cry. *sigh* Even got scolding from Mboy, “dont leave koko alone in school” Now days even Mboy is afraid of the word “teacher” and “school”. Both my kids were traumatise by it 😦

Day 4 : Raining. Had to let teacher drag him into the school. Parent are not allow in. He was crying and shouting spreading his arms reaching for me.. *sigh* Here comes the homework. All the other subject he was able to finish in class but only chinese he need to bring home. i had to make him practice on a piece of paper…

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( even simple word also looks so difficult for a child)

Day 7 : Went to see the principle to get more information on how was he able to cope. I wasn’t much worry about his academic. I was more concern about his feeling and confident. He seems to be a brave and independent boy. Did the first day approach really broken him down so badly? Drop and leave. Principle feedback was he is able to follow instruction, concentrate, participate he even ask his friends if he didnt know wat to do. When they talk about weather he can relate to thunder and lighting. However he doesn’t like loud noise and screaming and singing. He will close his ears. He also wasnt good with motor skill coz he cannot follow the dotted line. BUT i think more of impatience. He normally likes to do things fast. Of course in terms academic he is lacking but principle suggest that he will be put into another class to recap those learn in 4yo and they will go slower. Oh ya.. he constantly remind the teachers that “my mummy will cam fetch me” – i sense he is really insecure. T.T

Day 10 (16th Jan) : Still crying before getting down. But he did walk into the classroom himself. He had to get the assurance that i will pick him up later. So he will tell me “i love you”, kiss me and wave goodbye. I really wonder how i can boost his confidence again.

The reason i pick this school is because i sense the principle is a very responsible person. She teaches because of the love of teaching and not money. She even hv plans on how to improve and let J pick up from where he is left out. The school teacher are very careful with the children safety.

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(cars lining up to pick up the kids)

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(teachers will send one by one to their respective cars)

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