Kindy had started

Day 1 : Very kesian he was quite stunt upon reaching. He didn’t react, didnt cry but he was stunt. Class start at 8.30am but we send him there 7.45am so he could be earlier and warm up. We were hoping that we could accompany him until he was abit more familiar. But principle insist we leave immediately. 😦 Peep him from afar and he wasn’t playing.. just standing there looking at others. Orientation for 2 days and therefore class ends at 11am. We just hang around and waste time. Mom was with us… sat at McD and could see M was also bored without his big bro. didnt even wan to play with the slides.

Image(stand and watch and no playing)

When i was picking him up.. he changed. He had vomited… over stress?  But he was teacher said he was  acting like a big boy in class. He even told the boy next to him who was sleeping “wake up, teacher say write ur ABC”.. after class he help all other children to put up the chairs on the table. 🙂 my always helpful boy..

Image(changed into tshirt coz he vomited and dirty his uniform)

Day 2 : Mom and i fetch him to school. He cried again. He told me i threw him in school alone. He is scared. However teacher said he was more comfortable in the classroom… i really wonder why. Today he did his first art & craft.

Image      Image(first art work)


(Teacher Ang, i think is his class teacher)

Day 3 : School end 12pm today. Still orientation week. Still crying and vomited in my car! Upon reaching the junction he had started to cry. *sigh* Even got scolding from Mboy, “dont leave koko alone in school” Now days even Mboy is afraid of the word “teacher” and “school”. Both my kids were traumatise by it 😦

Day 4 : Raining. Had to let teacher drag him into the school. Parent are not allow in. He was crying and shouting spreading his arms reaching for me.. *sigh* Here comes the homework. All the other subject he was able to finish in class but only chinese he need to bring home. i had to make him practice on a piece of paper…


( even simple word also looks so difficult for a child)

Day 7 : Went to see the principle to get more information on how was he able to cope. I wasn’t much worry about his academic. I was more concern about his feeling and confident. He seems to be a brave and independent boy. Did the first day approach really broken him down so badly? Drop and leave. Principle feedback was he is able to follow instruction, concentrate, participate he even ask his friends if he didnt know wat to do. When they talk about weather he can relate to thunder and lighting. However he doesn’t like loud noise and screaming and singing. He will close his ears. He also wasnt good with motor skill coz he cannot follow the dotted line. BUT i think more of impatience. He normally likes to do things fast. Of course in terms academic he is lacking but principle suggest that he will be put into another class to recap those learn in 4yo and they will go slower. Oh ya.. he constantly remind the teachers that “my mummy will cam fetch me” – i sense he is really insecure. T.T

Day 10 (16th Jan) : Still crying before getting down. But he did walk into the classroom himself. He had to get the assurance that i will pick him up later. So he will tell me “i love you”, kiss me and wave goodbye. I really wonder how i can boost his confidence again.

The reason i pick this school is because i sense the principle is a very responsible person. She teaches because of the love of teaching and not money. She even hv plans on how to improve and let J pick up from where he is left out. The school teacher are very careful with the children safety.

Image (2 bungalow)


(cars lining up to pick up the kids)


(teachers will send one by one to their respective cars)

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What you should know before – Getting pregnant

this is my 3rd pregnancy. All of it is not the same. I was working with my first preg and things were abit stress at work. Everybody seems to be getting on my nerve and those old ppl who came to their documents signed is always getting the unsatisfied result from me . Maybe if i wasnt preg i will handle it differently? i dunno..  second preg was more of emotional break down. everything i had to do alone. everything had to faced alone. and worst is tat i hv a younger toddler to take care and everything seems to be more difficult. where is my husband? he is of course far away “enjoying” his get away with his new shop. me? i am always crying alone..  this is my 3rd.. and i am still having frustration mode and breakdown mode… i dun cry alone anymore coz i just blow it out. but being very sensitive over anything. maybe if i wasn’t preg i wont feel this way? but this is just me.. i feel depress or down i dun wan to keep. i anger it out. keeping it will only make me having more breakdowns.

maybe some would say.. so what being pregnant? everybody need to pleased u? BUT not everyone just the person who impregnates me should at least be apart of this pregnancy. while the woman are constantly carrying a huge belly with pain and worries, the guys shld also be involve in other things like taking care their well being and emotions. no?

the hardest part of being pregnant is the supports around you. i recently knew a couple of friends who plans to keep their child alone.  i pity them.. and i pity the bb … how are they going to be 9mth preggy with no support from the partner. even i hv hubby i’m already breaking down all the time… and then with all the pregnancy symptom.. nausea, fatigue, reflux.. nobody to manja. nobody to take care.. i really wonder how.. really hv to be very very strong. *sigh*

It crush my heart


There’s this collection thingy going on at Tesco. Spend min RM50 and get a sticker. With 10 sticker u get a free figurine or pay RM5 with 5 stickers. And is not like u get to choose which figurine u like. it is all in a box and it is by luck u get wat u wan. i hv 5 stickers collected and decided to get 1. J was waiting at the counter with me and he request to hv spiderman. i explain to him we can’t choose and only get to see when the box is open. anyway the 1st figurine we got was sully the big blue monster from Monster inc. J was abit disappointed but he didnt throw tantrum. however M was making a big fuss that he wanted it. So i told J to gv it to him. After we complete our groceries, we manage to collect another 5 stickers and so we went to get another figurine.

J still wanted a spiderman and this time we got ironman.. and again M was making alot noise when he saw the ironman. Awfully alot of noise i told J to gv it to his bro. He was reluctant but i didn’t force him. So on the way to the car, M still shouting and screaming and in the end J just voluntarily gv it to his bro. J ended up with Sully and his bro wont even let him touch the ironman.

*sigh* this is the part my heart really crush. Maybe some will say tat should teach M not to have watever he wants. or.. maybe some will just think that J wasn’t really interested in it anyway tat why he gv it away. But as a mom, i saw him waiting to get his spiderman and in the end he had to gv away his ironman (which is 2nd best) and ended up with sully… i really feel heart broken. as tho i had failed him. as tho i cannot fullfill him *SIGH*

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New fire truck bed

We recently bought a preloved fire truck bunker bed for my 2 sons. I do not like the double decker coz of the ceiling fans and also afraid the top sleeper will have terrible fall. Altho was preloved it looks new, and one of the mattress that comes with it was not being used before. We bought over with RM1k. Pil say was too much to pay but i think it is a good buy 🙂

They used to sleep one on my left, one on my right. With the new bb arrival, would really love if J could sleep on his own. And hoping M will somehow follow.

Day 1: I sleep with J on his fire truck until he falls asleep while M sleep with papa. After both of them fall asleep i move M to the fire truck bed at arnd 3am and couldn’t sleep after that. Arnd 4am J creep over to our bed and then i could sleep soundly. 😀 i think the mommy can’t sleep w/o her boys. 



(Glad that J really love the bed and he would do reading/viewing on his bed)

Day 2 : Again i sleep on the fire truck while J tries to fall asleep and M was sleeping with papa. i told J, i will move didi here with him and mama will go back to her bed. issit OK? He says OK and there is nothing to be afraid off. So i did. About 15min later i hear him sobbing and i ask why? He said, “i want mama”. Aw~~ so i have to put him to sleep again together 3 of us cramp into the small single size bed. But before i could doze off in my own bed he is awake again and climbing unto my bed… until morning. Didi manage to sleep tru.

Day 3 : Disaster. He refuse to sleep on his bed. i ask him why he said he is afraid. He insist sleeping with me. I told him i need to send back his bed if she didn’t like his bed. Told him also we could see each other and we are so near (only 2 feets apart) He tried.. he really tried to go back to his bed.. he even told me, “mama, go back to ur bed” but midnite both end up sleeping with us.

Day 4 : He request to push the bed together. i was thinking.. well maybe if the beds is stick together he will be more confident. NO. the can easily roll unto our bed again. -_-

Day 5 : We made it. We separate the bed but it was 1feet distance. This time put M to sleep in the fire truck and move J over. He was still awake when i move him but i told him. Didi will be accompany him. Well he did manage to sleep tru till morning. M however manage to climb unto my bed at midnite.


(Day 5 was a bit of a success for J)


(M still no hope to sleep alone)

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Caring for each other

I am glad that my two boys are constantly thinking of each other. Especially koko. Whatever he do he wants didi to hv them too…bad or good. ytd we went shopping and J grab a box of choc and he insist didi also wanted one box. And so he pick one box and hand over to his little bro on the stroller. Seeing this… how not to buy two rite ? Even tho one box have twelve small pack inside.

Today i secret gv lil mboy a strip of seaweed after he finish his meal. I wanted J to finish his then i will gv him his portion but M insist that he needs to gv one to koko too. Sweet.. so i juz didnt bother with the rule “tidbits after meal” anymore. Juz glad they are united and always thinking of each other.

J is also a great help when it comes to getting himself ready. He can bathe himself as well as didi. Just likehow i bathe him. I will mention every part i wash, like hair head armpit neck leg feet etc…so he did the same with his bro. He cant relly wipe himself dry,but is ok. After shower he wear his own pj and dry his hair. There is once i heard him calling his didi to come over helping him to dry his hair. Is a great help already. He is able to apply tooth paste and brush his own teeth which i am happy about it too. Four years old.. helping me to prepare himself n lil bro, what can i ask for more rite?

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you won’t judge when you become one yourself

i used to give looks at parents who let their children throw tantrum at the supermarket. shout and yell. and i also give looks at parent who yell and their kids or even slap them in public. is like.. they are not so good with the parenting skill…not until i have my own.

i know now how hurt issit to be judge. i know how is every child different is many ways. even same child can be different over some time period or ages. now son is not at their best behaviour at all times. cranky when not enough sleep and many stunts can happen. going to hypermarket, passing toy department can cause a huge drama. sometimes i just ignore and let him shout and scream (oh wait, was it someone used to give a terrible-parent-look due to this? – haha) i had once drag him to the washroom and try talking to him. but he wasn’t calm and insisting to buy the toy gun. it may not cost alot. maybe the easiest way to settle is to just get it for him and she can shut up and be good the whole groceries shopping. but no, i do not wan to implement this “routine”. We had used the go-home-now approach. we drove straight rite home. we had use the ignore-his-whining approach. we had use the drag-to-a-corner approach. we had use the threaten approach. at different times, some may work some may not. at different age you need a different approach. and yes sometimes i really feel like slapping him in public but thankfully i am still able to control myself. so who are you to judge other when u do not know what had they gone through?

during our holiday at the beach. J wanted to play sand castle and M wanted to be in the pool. i’m stuck between the pool and the beach. both didn’t wan to give him. beach or pool. beach THEN pool or pool THEN beach. both were screaming when i move a step toward either. don’t ask where is hubby, of course if i am left alone with 2 boys he surely have some important things to do which i do not want to go in details. ppl were staring at me and my boys as thou i do not know how to nego with my kids. and they cannot compromise with each other. so this made me a bad mom for letting my boys disturbing the peace of the relax pool/beach side activities? 

at the breakfast cafe, my elder son choose to pour his milk into the cereal and after he do tat he refuse to touch the soggy cereal. i had to pour and separate the milk and the cereal and force him to drink up the milk to salvage the min wastage. my younger son decided he want to follow his big bro and pour his cereal with milk. and he starts to play with them! my decision is to let him do it because his younger cannot be stop for what he wants he will make sure he gets it or nobody is in peace. he won’t listen or wont even give in a bit. i don’t want to start how they always starts the fight with each other due to this. the opposite mat salleh old couple were looking at me as though i am some crazy mom who let them dive into the cereal and play with their food. that look really makes me feel like *argh* u think i dun wan them to behave sitting down at the table eating everything and politely leaving the table in the best manner?

at the birthday party my younger son was screaming and the good kind soul bring him a balloon and my son just scream at her in the face and wack the balloon away. so my son is misbehaving throwing tantrum in the public and show no little manners of saying thank you. i am a bad mother for not teaching him right? everybody knows discipline should be taught at a younger age and preferably before entering the schooling days where they get more bad influence. hey u think i don’t know that? is not so easy. said i easy.. but to really do it and practice is no where near simple, okay. 

u can disagree with other parents teaching.. but you can never judge it is right or wrong because you are not in their shoe and every child is different.

Sharing is Caring

J request to drink coke.. and so i allow him. But he insist that his little bro also wanted some. Normally he will drag his little bro into everything! Yes EVERYTHING as tho that with his little bro, everything mummy will say YES. So i was thinking probably he wanted his bro to have the coke is due to that – so that mummy say yes. So i told him, is OK. Mvric doesn’t want it and if he wants it u can share with him.

He took his cup which i pour in very little coke and gave to his bro to share! I am really happy. But his little bro just gulp in everything and made him furious. hahaha… but i gave him a little more coz he shared! 🙂 and.. nope this time he didn’t offer notti little bro.

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In the end health is most important

Join many fb grp, many mothers’grp and many stories been told and heard. There r ppl out there struggling to keep their children alive. There are many out there who is hoping they hv miracles. So.. no matter is a boy or girl. No matter is genius or not. No matter is hyper or not. No matter how terrible or horrible theirbtantrum..i just hope and pray my children is in perfect health. I just want them to lead a normal happy and healthy life. Be a good person… tat’s all.

Happy 2nd birthday


This morning this bday boy as tho knew he is older. After pee, took his tooth brush and tooth paste to brush his himself. Sometimes mom hv to let go to see how they hv grown. He just do it without me asking and without my help.


Happy birthday my dear sweetie pie.. mom and dad will forever love u and pray u grow up to be a healthy and good person..

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Can only watch them

This boy is my first son.very caring and sensertive person… i had a terrible headache yesterday and cant wake up to do anything.  daddy also told him tat mummy is sick so be quiet. (I think) the whole day he was well behave. I slept whole day, when i was awake for 10min i started to vomit again.. i saw the whole house was in a messed. Full of toys… with my dying voice i told them to keep and they did. I dun even need to use the cane or shout at them.once said and it is done. Should remind myself less of yelling… or more of falling sick ? Hehe..

Looking at them, i felt relieve and continue my sleep, my elder son keep coming and take a look at me, i wasnt very concious, but i knew wat he did, he gv me his smelly pillow, kiss me on the forehead. keep coming back to check out on me too. Touching my face, my head and telling me “mama, dun sick sick”

My yonger son was also checking on me once awhile,asking me how am i and caressing my head.

When i am sick i can see them better, coz there is nothing i can do but to watch them while lying on the sick bed…..this is the time dun need to do anything just be with them… or perhaps they are being with me… thanks to hubby who did all the cooking and feeding..

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