You see, for the first child. i did not have any problems weaning him. He just stop it. Once fine day, when i offer to him, he just reject it and shy off. Never again he want to suckle. I weep. I feel rejected.

So comes my 2nd child and he is 23mth now. Still fully breastfeed and i tot it is time. My period came 2 mth ago and my milk supply drop tremendously. It is so pityful for him that he didn’t get any milk form suckling but i know he just wants comfort. BUT my nipple is soo sore.  I offer him fresh milk and he likes it. Probably it is cold. But then after that is still suckle. I gave him FM he refuse the bottle but using FORCE and scaring him with the cane, he can take is 4oz… and not more. *sigh*

Many parent are saying that kid above 1 do not need milk anymore. They have enough calcium from their daily intake like cheese and yoghurt. I still feel bad and wrong about that. How can a kid don’t drink milk? i drink up till 12yo! But anyway it is very individual. So trying to force FM into Mboy and freshmilk is like forcing a cat to bathe (you do know cats don’t like water, rite?) It takes alot of patience and determination. Everynite i had to reject him and let him crying. Thinking that after a few nites he will soon realise that the crying wont bring milk. The crying wont win anything. There is even point i bring him to the door and told him if he cry i’ll throw him out in the dark. He is scared of course and dare not cry too long after that. It is very pityful to see his face, each time he want to suck, he feel guilty., and if i open up his laugh, his smile…  i cannot explain.

Today a mom wrote, her dotter came to her and told her that she will kiss her nen2 and wont suck. I feel like it is so sad, is like she wants it but know she cannot have it, so kissing it will do. Maybe the little gal is willing to let go already… if my son where to tell me tat… i’ll melt straight and offer him again. I think the bottom line.. i dun have heart to wean.

So why in the 1st place i want to wean… besides all the goodness? I think no one ever mention there is the BAD about breastfeed. Especially to the mothers. Children are more clingy. Tendency of backache, stiff neck and  shoulder ache. The pain is unbearable and can last up till 6months. The more you breastfeed the more ache it is. and then you’ll say all those gadget will help. NO. they don’t and won’t. For me is this 2 points that really make me very frustrated. But of course, you can’t leave your kids for vacation alone. worst if ur kids cant be bottled fed. during ur period u feel ur milk production is not enough and thankfully mine came only 23rd mth.

so next mth he will be 2 and… am i ready?

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Searching for Kindy (2)

And so we continue to search for our kindy.

1st : Sang Suria – non commercialise, but if u think they are too local i am quite surprise their syllabus are very proper and even better than Q-dees. But if u ask me, i would say it is in the border line of stress. However i had purposely let my son go wild and crazy at her small office and told her to the extreme how he was being rejected in other class and his focus attention span is short. Hm.. her face show me.. small case. She even told me how she handle those who keep looking out the window and day dream. How she attend to those who are hyper and my son is just consider active. I also think that she went for these psychology / temperament classes.  She seems to catch what my son’s behaviour is. So how is she going to cope with cope with my son’s late progress? Well i guess i must also put him for extra 30min class after school to catch up with other, but is not a necessary. As long as he can do his activities book, is good enough.

2nd : Krista – went in, principle gave me the price list, told me the class is neanrly full. So enroll now. The end.

3rd : KidsIQ – very Montessori. they even hv garden to plant their plant and sc lab. Many toys for  montessori. is actually FUN to put him there, but when i told her my son is zero knowledge i saw her drawback. I knew she isn’t ready to coach laid back kids. So.. why bother

There.. i had choosen and the whole year fees is the cheapest too! I am double surprise.

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Dental Check

Today, brought my 2 heros for check-up. Actually this was the 2nd round. 1st round was around Mac 2013. J refuse to cooperate. Didn’t open his mouth and was really terrified with i dunno what. so went back i downloaded dental apps just to let him see what they will do to the teeth. I didn’t know if it helps but he did open his mouth this round. Of course the nite b4 he still insist he is scared and i told him i’ll be lying there with him, holding his hand. There is nothing to be afraid off. Doc say his teeth is really nice and perfect. *glad*

Then comes M which i had been practising with him opening the mouth for doc to check. I pretend i’m the doc. Of course everything is good until comes to the real thing. He didn’t wan to open and then i had to kepit .his leg with mine and then right hand hug his both arms down real tight and left hand hold on to his forehead. He scream .. and it is good. Coz he open his mouth! Doc manage to do the filling and need to go again arnd Aug to sapu the protection layer which is the 2nd doze. Hopefully he is not traumatised by the forcing *ai*

But no matter what, it is done!



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Homeschool until now

My personal opinion homeschool is an action where parent have to take full responsibility of their children academic, practical, well being, behaviour and etc at home. I’m sure every kid is being homeschool but until a certain age, half of the responsibility is hand over to the teachers at kindy/nursery. Some parents even to the extend to get the teacher to potty train their kids.

Me? We started J as soon as he is born… haha.. talking to him, teaching him to count is a form of homeschool too ya. Until a certain age, 3.5yo like most working parent who send the kids to kindy I decided that i want to continue to homeschool him. Promoting to a different level, where i want to teach him to write and count myself at home. I know i can do it. What so hard about it rite? Printouts are everywhere to be downloaded. So i started with A, B, C …. and then awhile more D and E. The whole damn process took me like 4months?? His pace can actually learn A in 3-4days but i drag to a week to make sure he really could do it. But then i got lazy on the way.. then i had a few weeks holiday while in Malacca, so i skip the homeschool. Then a couple of days being lazy due to sickness and laziness. I realise i’m taking very long but i really don’t care pressuring him.

it really takes a lot of discipline to homeschool. as a very normal person, nothing special or spectacular i decided to get lazy :S wanted to give up and just hand over to the teacher to do it like other parents… then my buddy bring me back to the path again. (ya she is like an angel)

Then ppl start to tell me, at primary one, they start to write simple essay. Given a picture they are suppose to write a few sentence to describe the picture. I got panic. My son can’t even write his own name! Start to ask around for shcools and decided he shld start kindy immediately. Talk to a few parents and then i got relax .. not all kindy are so advanced and not all kids can cope. So even tho primary one suppose to be knowing all those, i dun think all kids can cope. And there are still kindy who gv alot homework and parent at home are/SHOULD be the teacher. So back to square one. Homeschool.. so why pay the teachers to give homework and mothers to guide? Don’t tell me they need to social at school. My son don’t face me alone at home, my neighbourhood had enough kids to mix around. Every evening they will be running, cycling and even come to my house to play. ya~~ i live in a kampung but it fun to hv a childhood with friends other than schoolmates (like mama used to be) So i’m more confirm that my decision to homeschool him is not really that bad.

After i got abit relax, my neighbour start to tell me her dotter age 4 can read Peter and Jane book 4 by herself! i’m like WTF. she is homeschool. so why does her homeschool and mine totall out? Her dotter even can read the intructions on the workbook in bahasa. She might not know the meaning but she can read! (Ya i curi dengar when she tutor her dotter) Panic strikes in. Then the other neighbour starts to tell me the syllabus for 5yr old is to spell words like person, tongue with many letters and chinese character is more than 7 strokes! Darn. Panic 2 strikes! My son still can’t write his name! Now i’m really panic bcoz i intend to send him to school next yr (age 5) and he can’t even write yet!

Today hubby got abit of time to go rounding for kindy. Manage to went into 2 kindy to talk to the principles. Kindy (1) Q-dees, principle did not force kids to catch up to the level. Her way is to let the kids catch up accordingly to their own pace. There is 1 boy who is running arnd and she told me the boy didn’t want to sit in the class but they just let him be. She also explain to me that J will be put into a 3yo class for the start to mix (if i decided to start now) and then next yr to see if he can cope. I’m quite comfortable with her “thinking” and her amount of students in the class. Not more than 10? I am quite surprise. Either they are really lousy or they are really expensive.

Kindy (2), chinese based. Very stressed. The moment i step in, i’m stressed. It’s full pack of things. Many children. She even told me my son need to hv assessment before entering the class. This point had made me “out” them. Soree, i’m not a result oriented parent. i dun need to see end of the day my son can read or write at young age. i just need them to learn not force. so when she starts to explain i’m starting to drift away~~

Kindy (3), (4) and (5) will be on next week. Let’s see how~~

Observation, not all kindy are so stress where they need to spell what ever yada-yada at what age. I can still choose a more relax kindy for him but at the same time, he can learn at his own pace. As long as he can write A-Z and 1-9, ya i’m happy 😀 but then..there was this real life story of a boy who refuse to go for his piano class and then being force, for 3 years. now he is loving music and learning 5 other instruments following is own love for music. Question.. is forcing a necessary for children who can’t decide yet?

(frankly i dun believe all std 1 children can already read and write loh)

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Brotherhood Togetherness

Am quite happy to see them play together, sleep together, eat together.. and yup.. also fight with each other. It’s a special connection in them that when 1 of them is being cane/discipline, the other will come and help.

J will say things like “mama, soft soft” or “cannot cane baby, must sayang”

M will come abd straigh “huak huak huak” beat me.

Yes, allowing M to do tat might lead to future problems but.. deep down inside me i’m happy they are united.


(playing together)


(watching tv together)


(sleeping together)


(drinking together)


(washing together)


(they just sit there do nothing together)


(milk bottle together)


(finally doze off together)

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SAHM – kids fortunate or fortunate mom?

Come to this topic again, maybe i’m trying to make myself feel better or trying to console myself. I’d attend a family gathering yesterday, with my newborn little nephew. One particular kid, my niece, her parent working in KL, every week travel back to Muar to “collect” her from grandma. Yesterday was exceptional, bcoz dinner was in KL! She get to see the parent before reaching weekend!

She is just ONE. Sitting right infront of me, when the parents walk into the restaurant she saw them~~ OMG my tears can flow out then. Her smile, her joy her excitement. She just fly over to her mom from the person who carries her. That kind of misses and eagerness i cannot see in a kids face. (one of the reason i quit working) And since it was a Thursday and parent got to work on Friday, the departure~~ OMG again.. i wanan cry. It is not even my daughter! When her mother took her handbag told her she will leave now (it was around 11pm) she hug her mom so tightly didn’t wan to let go. I think her mom also about to tear out, but tahan only. I walk away.. else i will be crying instead. This kind of feeling i’m glad i never need to go through everyday when i leave my kids with the babysitter. So, am i fortunate.
Second case, when we were chatting, there was this topic about cough mixture where some babysitter/nursery gave the children to fall asleep. And there is this case that the child was below 1 (not suppose to take cough mixture) had some and died. How they make all the kids fall asleep the same time.. bla bla bla.. i told myself.. my kids were really fortunate.

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