The date is getting closer and closer…
When jdric is on the way, everyone is anxiously waiting for him. We had things prepare for him and waiting excitedly. Papa was around tat time, mama is talking to him all the time. Even ah po also bought a PJ for him to wear when discharge from hospital. When i first saw him, i was like looking at a total stranger but i had feelings for him soo deeply.
Now bb M is like non existing. He is growing inside me but no sign of preparation… i’m not prepared?
This morning waking up, looking at Jdric i cried my heart out thinking tat today will the last morning i wake up together with him ALONE. I’ll be missing him, missing carrying him, missing my 1 to 1 time with him. (I talk like i’m going to die or wat) Jdric just look at me bodoh bodoh and lie close to me. Early early morning emo dy.
Actually who is clinging to whom? I realise that i’m too attached to him. It’s not him. I should learn to “let go” of Jdric. Probably he is already old enough to be on his own. Probably he’s excited to have partner in crime. Why am i feeling that i’m losing him instead of feeling that i’ll gain another precious? 2 Jdric !! God must have had his plan and decision why i can’t have my contraction. There is nothing to be sad or depress about not having natural delivery. He’ll have other plans for me. It’s also good that Ha-B do not hv to rush down or got carried away in the middle of his shooting.
So tomorrow onwards.. i’ll be a new mom again.. happy new motherhood and save delivery Miki Chua! (looking forward to BF again *yippie* – forgotten if i meantion b4 tat when i wean off i was also very depress about it. so now i can BF again *double yippie*)
And to be very very proud i’m able to say, “These are my CHILDREN” – consider upgrade also rite?
Mavric Phang, come see papa,mama and koko who had been waiting for you for very-long 265 days =D