Ever since he started kindy. i cannot be in control anymore. i dunno what he had learn. i dunno what he did. i dunno his “ins and outs” anymore. which makes me loose control…

but today he told me he ate porridge and who eat the fastest and he dirty his pants abit. so at least everyday he had been telling me.. “i eat bread” is true. at least today is porridge. 

he also came to me and ask “may i go to the toilet” meaning that YES he did went to the toilet in school. i was so worried that he control his urine until back home coz when i keep asking him did he go to the school toilet he say NO. 

and also when he saw my lips he ask me  “why ur lips is dry? Go drink water please” so i know that teacher had been taking good care of them asking them to drink water. 🙂 i am also wondering why is his water bottle always so full until one day i heard him say “can u refill my bottle” then i know he learn tat from school 🙂


It crush my heart


There’s this collection thingy going on at Tesco. Spend min RM50 and get a sticker. With 10 sticker u get a free figurine or pay RM5 with 5 stickers. And is not like u get to choose which figurine u like. it is all in a box and it is by luck u get wat u wan. i hv 5 stickers collected and decided to get 1. J was waiting at the counter with me and he request to hv spiderman. i explain to him we can’t choose and only get to see when the box is open. anyway the 1st figurine we got was sully the big blue monster from Monster inc. J was abit disappointed but he didnt throw tantrum. however M was making a big fuss that he wanted it. So i told J to gv it to him. After we complete our groceries, we manage to collect another 5 stickers and so we went to get another figurine.

J still wanted a spiderman and this time we got ironman.. and again M was making alot noise when he saw the ironman. Awfully alot of noise i told J to gv it to his bro. He was reluctant but i didn’t force him. So on the way to the car, M still shouting and screaming and in the end J just voluntarily gv it to his bro. J ended up with Sully and his bro wont even let him touch the ironman.

*sigh* this is the part my heart really crush. Maybe some will say tat should teach M not to have watever he wants. or.. maybe some will just think that J wasn’t really interested in it anyway tat why he gv it away. But as a mom, i saw him waiting to get his spiderman and in the end he had to gv away his ironman (which is 2nd best) and ended up with sully… i really feel heart broken. as tho i had failed him. as tho i cannot fullfill him *SIGH*

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Caring for each other

I am glad that my two boys are constantly thinking of each other. Especially koko. Whatever he do he wants didi to hv them too…bad or good. ytd we went shopping and J grab a box of choc and he insist didi also wanted one box. And so he pick one box and hand over to his little bro on the stroller. Seeing this… how not to buy two rite ? Even tho one box have twelve small pack inside.

Today i secret gv lil mboy a strip of seaweed after he finish his meal. I wanted J to finish his then i will gv him his portion but M insist that he needs to gv one to koko too. Sweet.. so i juz didnt bother with the rule “tidbits after meal” anymore. Juz glad they are united and always thinking of each other.

J is also a great help when it comes to getting himself ready. He can bathe himself as well as didi. Just likehow i bathe him. I will mention every part i wash, like hair head armpit neck leg feet etc…so he did the same with his bro. He cant relly wipe himself dry,but is ok. After shower he wear his own pj and dry his hair. There is once i heard him calling his didi to come over helping him to dry his hair. Is a great help already. He is able to apply tooth paste and brush his own teeth which i am happy about it too. Four years old.. helping me to prepare himself n lil bro, what can i ask for more rite?

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you won’t judge when you become one yourself

i used to give looks at parents who let their children throw tantrum at the supermarket. shout and yell. and i also give looks at parent who yell and their kids or even slap them in public. is like.. they are not so good with the parenting skill…not until i have my own.

i know now how hurt issit to be judge. i know how is every child different is many ways. even same child can be different over some time period or ages. now son is not at their best behaviour at all times. cranky when not enough sleep and many stunts can happen. going to hypermarket, passing toy department can cause a huge drama. sometimes i just ignore and let him shout and scream (oh wait, was it someone used to give a terrible-parent-look due to this? – haha) i had once drag him to the washroom and try talking to him. but he wasn’t calm and insisting to buy the toy gun. it may not cost alot. maybe the easiest way to settle is to just get it for him and she can shut up and be good the whole groceries shopping. but no, i do not wan to implement this “routine”. We had used the go-home-now approach. we drove straight rite home. we had use the ignore-his-whining approach. we had use the drag-to-a-corner approach. we had use the threaten approach. at different times, some may work some may not. at different age you need a different approach. and yes sometimes i really feel like slapping him in public but thankfully i am still able to control myself. so who are you to judge other when u do not know what had they gone through?

during our holiday at the beach. J wanted to play sand castle and M wanted to be in the pool. i’m stuck between the pool and the beach. both didn’t wan to give him. beach or pool. beach THEN pool or pool THEN beach. both were screaming when i move a step toward either. don’t ask where is hubby, of course if i am left alone with 2 boys he surely have some important things to do which i do not want to go in details. ppl were staring at me and my boys as thou i do not know how to nego with my kids. and they cannot compromise with each other. so this made me a bad mom for letting my boys disturbing the peace of the relax pool/beach side activities? 

at the breakfast cafe, my elder son choose to pour his milk into the cereal and after he do tat he refuse to touch the soggy cereal. i had to pour and separate the milk and the cereal and force him to drink up the milk to salvage the min wastage. my younger son decided he want to follow his big bro and pour his cereal with milk. and he starts to play with them! my decision is to let him do it because his younger cannot be stop for what he wants he will make sure he gets it or nobody is in peace. he won’t listen or wont even give in a bit. i don’t want to start how they always starts the fight with each other due to this. the opposite mat salleh old couple were looking at me as though i am some crazy mom who let them dive into the cereal and play with their food. that look really makes me feel like *argh* u think i dun wan them to behave sitting down at the table eating everything and politely leaving the table in the best manner?

at the birthday party my younger son was screaming and the good kind soul bring him a balloon and my son just scream at her in the face and wack the balloon away. so my son is misbehaving throwing tantrum in the public and show no little manners of saying thank you. i am a bad mother for not teaching him right? everybody knows discipline should be taught at a younger age and preferably before entering the schooling days where they get more bad influence. hey u think i don’t know that? is not so easy. said i easy.. but to really do it and practice is no where near simple, okay. 

u can disagree with other parents teaching.. but you can never judge it is right or wrong because you are not in their shoe and every child is different.

Sharing is Caring

J request to drink coke.. and so i allow him. But he insist that his little bro also wanted some. Normally he will drag his little bro into everything! Yes EVERYTHING as tho that with his little bro, everything mummy will say YES. So i was thinking probably he wanted his bro to have the coke is due to that – so that mummy say yes. So i told him, is OK. Mvric doesn’t want it and if he wants it u can share with him.

He took his cup which i pour in very little coke and gave to his bro to share! I am really happy. But his little bro just gulp in everything and made him furious. hahaha… but i gave him a little more coz he shared! 🙂 and.. nope this time he didn’t offer notti little bro.

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Happy 2nd birthday


This morning this bday boy as tho knew he is older. After pee, took his tooth brush and tooth paste to brush his himself. Sometimes mom hv to let go to see how they hv grown. He just do it without me asking and without my help.


Happy birthday my dear sweetie pie.. mom and dad will forever love u and pray u grow up to be a healthy and good person..

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Breastfeeding Week : 1-7th Aug

My journey…

i’m coming to 24th month already. Had try to start him with FM 2 months back. Reason being my period is here and my supply drop during mentrual. Making him sucking so darn hard and still not a drop AND my nipple feels falling off. Anyway, nearly 2yrs i’m happy already. Anything beyond that is definitely a bonus. Since i’m DL all the time it makes me very hard to wean off and drinking from a bottle takes practice. Feeding him with morning and nite session with FM. Somehow he is still waking midnite to suckle for comfort. This also tired me out.

These days i’d been tell him my nen nen is painful, there’s once i put chilli sauce to tease him off… haha… good for practicing eating chilli. But it was just for fun.. dun wan to do tat to him. But i’d been telling him i’m in pain and my milk spoilt. There is no more milk left inside.

Today i told him that, he show me his pitiful face, “sayang-sayang” while caressing my head. Then i told him dun drink nen2 anymore kay. He nod his head and then.. lie the other side of the breast. -_-“

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You see, for the first child. i did not have any problems weaning him. He just stop it. Once fine day, when i offer to him, he just reject it and shy off. Never again he want to suckle. I weep. I feel rejected.

So comes my 2nd child and he is 23mth now. Still fully breastfeed and i tot it is time. My period came 2 mth ago and my milk supply drop tremendously. It is so pityful for him that he didn’t get any milk form suckling but i know he just wants comfort. BUT my nipple is soo sore.  I offer him fresh milk and he likes it. Probably it is cold. But then after that is still suckle. I gave him FM he refuse the bottle but using FORCE and scaring him with the cane, he can take is 4oz… and not more. *sigh*

Many parent are saying that kid above 1 do not need milk anymore. They have enough calcium from their daily intake like cheese and yoghurt. I still feel bad and wrong about that. How can a kid don’t drink milk? i drink up till 12yo! But anyway it is very individual. So trying to force FM into Mboy and freshmilk is like forcing a cat to bathe (you do know cats don’t like water, rite?) It takes alot of patience and determination. Everynite i had to reject him and let him crying. Thinking that after a few nites he will soon realise that the crying wont bring milk. The crying wont win anything. There is even point i bring him to the door and told him if he cry i’ll throw him out in the dark. He is scared of course and dare not cry too long after that. It is very pityful to see his face, each time he want to suck, he feel guilty., and if i open up his laugh, his smile…  i cannot explain.

Today a mom wrote, her dotter came to her and told her that she will kiss her nen2 and wont suck. I feel like it is so sad, is like she wants it but know she cannot have it, so kissing it will do. Maybe the little gal is willing to let go already… if my son where to tell me tat… i’ll melt straight and offer him again. I think the bottom line.. i dun have heart to wean.

So why in the 1st place i want to wean… besides all the goodness? I think no one ever mention there is the BAD about breastfeed. Especially to the mothers. Children are more clingy. Tendency of backache, stiff neck and  shoulder ache. The pain is unbearable and can last up till 6months. The more you breastfeed the more ache it is. and then you’ll say all those gadget will help. NO. they don’t and won’t. For me is this 2 points that really make me very frustrated. But of course, you can’t leave your kids for vacation alone. worst if ur kids cant be bottled fed. during ur period u feel ur milk production is not enough and thankfully mine came only 23rd mth.

so next mth he will be 2 and… am i ready?

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Searching for Kindy (2)

And so we continue to search for our kindy.

1st : Sang Suria – non commercialise, but if u think they are too local i am quite surprise their syllabus are very proper and even better than Q-dees. But if u ask me, i would say it is in the border line of stress. However i had purposely let my son go wild and crazy at her small office and told her to the extreme how he was being rejected in other class and his focus attention span is short. Hm.. her face show me.. small case. She even told me how she handle those who keep looking out the window and day dream. How she attend to those who are hyper and my son is just consider active. I also think that she went for these psychology / temperament classes.  She seems to catch what my son’s behaviour is. So how is she going to cope with cope with my son’s late progress? Well i guess i must also put him for extra 30min class after school to catch up with other, but is not a necessary. As long as he can do his activities book, is good enough.

2nd : Krista – went in, principle gave me the price list, told me the class is neanrly full. So enroll now. The end.

3rd : KidsIQ – very Montessori. they even hv garden to plant their plant and sc lab. Many toys for  montessori. is actually FUN to put him there, but when i told her my son is zero knowledge i saw her drawback. I knew she isn’t ready to coach laid back kids. So.. why bother

There.. i had choosen and the whole year fees is the cheapest too! I am double surprise.

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Dental Check

Today, brought my 2 heros for check-up. Actually this was the 2nd round. 1st round was around Mac 2013. J refuse to cooperate. Didn’t open his mouth and was really terrified with i dunno what. so went back i downloaded dental apps just to let him see what they will do to the teeth. I didn’t know if it helps but he did open his mouth this round. Of course the nite b4 he still insist he is scared and i told him i’ll be lying there with him, holding his hand. There is nothing to be afraid off. Doc say his teeth is really nice and perfect. *glad*

Then comes M which i had been practising with him opening the mouth for doc to check. I pretend i’m the doc. Of course everything is good until comes to the real thing. He didn’t wan to open and then i had to kepit .his leg with mine and then right hand hug his both arms down real tight and left hand hold on to his forehead. He scream .. and it is good. Coz he open his mouth! Doc manage to do the filling and need to go again arnd Aug to sapu the protection layer which is the 2nd doze. Hopefully he is not traumatised by the forcing *ai*

But no matter what, it is done!



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