You broke my heart over and over

I didnt want to jot but then i feel i hv to let go somewhere. Small fights and quarrels we can brush of but certain things juz carve inside.

Like when i was heavily pregnant and u look at me climbing on the slippery kitchen counter top cleaning the exhaust fan. I wish i wld fall and miscarriage the baby so i can blame u for the rest of my life. Friends advise i shld voice out and tell you what to do instead of hoping u wld automatically do it. But common sense anybody seeing a heavily pregnant woman climbing wld offer their help.

Then it was sex topic during pregnancy It is embarrassing but i have to get it  well i guess no one will be reading. U told me if i dont allow there is nothing wrong outsource. Disgustingly wrong. But u said i misunderstood but i know u.

Fast forward 3yrs. 11th yrs of marriage. I did everything for the kids. From being a mother to taking the fathers role. I cook. I clean. I feed. I fetch. I search for tuitions. I keep up with their studies. I learn their interest. I push them to be perseverance. I teach homework and even chinese which i dont know. I look for weakness i find improvement which u dont care. I fill in every hole they are having all by myself. I even them biking. I bring them to the playground. I play badminton. I ensure they dun juz do academic but nonacademic too. I read to them at nite until my third was born. I juz request u to flash a deck of cards which u cant even last for a week.

The hse that u live in. U had nvr clean unless i scream at u. Even the lawn i mow. Got my leg cut by rock.

U said u will provide financially but is not even to the state we are in a luxury life. N yet u think u had done a big part. U do not share being a part in my life.

After all that i had done. U told me i did this all for myself. What self satisfaction? Truly am dissappointed in u. I do not see we grow old together anymore. Is fading away. I will continue to do for the sake of ur kids which is obviously looks like is mine alone only.

Sometimes u say my requirement is high but i think is juz ur capability is limited.

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