Still am Sad

wake at 6.30am today, pump, wash up, look at my boy and head to work.

on the way my heart really feel so aching, i cry all the way driving to work. i dunno what i can do.. i dunno what to do.. i cannot control the situation and the feeling… hai~~ mom say when i start to work i won’t miss so much.. but i think after i get my bonus i think i’ll quit my job. yeah talking and thinking is easy doubt i can do tat… how am i going to gv him everything he wanted later? (material) my heart is so ache even eating breakfast and talking about him makes me shed my tears. oh God… what should i do…

question here, what is the best for him? giving him all the material things. the toys, the better quality diapers, the better milk powder, the quality stuff OR being with him when he grow up, see him change everyday, teach and guide him throughout his growing stage…which is better? i would like to choose option 2, but i’m so afraid that when he grow up and go to school and come back and tell me, “mommy i want the spiderman school bag, i want the remote control toy car my firend have, i want the Wii game, everybody in my class is having it” OMG my heart will again be so aching because i cannot provide him all those. cannot afford to send him to piano class or art class, cannot afford to send him to kumon. hai~~ which is better?

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3 thoughts on “Still am Sad

  1. Cheer up girl! Things will get better, it is normal to feel this way when you first start to go to work after your maternity leave.

    I was also in the same dilemma…whether to be a stay-at-home-mum or not. But I decided that we are too comfortable living on two incomes and I’m not ready to sacrifice alot of the material luxuries that I’m enjoying now, also not to mention all of Jayden’s expenses. So the choice is entirely up to you, if you’re willing to give up those, then you can be a full time mum to Jedric. And also, the ‘best’ doesn’t have to be expensive.

    Just look at it this way, even when you’re working, you still get to see Jedric everyday and at the end of a shitty day, your baby is there to cheer you up. I only get to see Jayden once a month, it’s difficult at first but so far I’m coping well…I’m giving myself a few more years before I decide again if I want to quit my job.

    Hope you’ll feel better

  2. OK, if I am entitled to share my view despite the fact that I don’t have a baby, here’s what I think:-

    2 + 3 = 5
    1 + 4 = 5
    10 – 5 = 5

    So you see, it’s not the things or the TLC that you give your baby that determines what kind of a mother you are. It is the life-long dedication that you devote to him. I didn’t grow up with any expensive toys or branded clothes, but I adore my Mum because of the values that she has instilled in me 🙂

    Cheer up! J-boy needs to grow up in an environment where Daddy and Mummy are happy 🙂

  3. my two good friend, your advice had really gv me alot to think about and i think both of you are rite. i want the best for him and i think the best for him is be with him and watch him grow up…gice him all the love.. the best is not necessary to be expensive.. me too didn’t grow in a rich environment. thank Pelf! thank KS! *muaks*

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